Everybody loves when they gain a friend, a family member or a love interest as they fill your life with happy moments. Life seems rich and complete in their presence.
But when you gain something in life, you are also bound to lose something and losing is never easy, especially when you lose someone you love. When your loved ones depart, a tragedy strikes which saps you of feeling whole again and your little happy world come tumbling down. A loss of a soul, it creates a gaping hole in your life…which remains unfilled even in the presence of several lives around us.
Losing makes you realize how transient life is. Even when you lose our loved ones to death, you don’t lose your relationship with them, your love for them, and your feelings for them. The memories of things they used to say or do cling to you for rest of your life.
At such trying times, no matter how strong you have been all through your life, you become frail and need support. More often than not, you seek it in someone you admire more than yourself, you trust more than yourself, you love more than yourself. You must mourn and endure suffering as it is the only way to heal. There is no magic button in your life which could be pushed to instantly move on from your grief.
Everyone grieves differently and you must do what you feel rather than let somebody else tell you how and what to feel so as to suit them. If you feel like sharing your pain with somebody, share. If you want to be by yourself for a while, then so be it. After going through a devastating loss, you must not avoid what you feel only then things slowly start to improve.
After some time which feels like eternity, at some random moment you feel a tiny brush of happiness on your skin. You look in the mirror, fix your hair and wash your eyes; a random conversation brings your smile back for a while and day by day you learn to cope with your loss. But it takes its own time which is always different for everyone. No matter how many times somebody tells you to move on from your loss, you will only do it when you are ready. Not a minute late or a minute sooner.
And this fact is often not comprehensible to the people who have not gone through such a loss in their life. They might not see you in pain even when you reciprocate their smile. They may say they understand but in reality nobody truly understands if they haven’t felt it themselves. These become testing times for their patience and love if they fail to grasp what you feel. It then leads to dissatisfaction, discontentment and finally ignorance.
Acceptance of losing someone who is dead and gone is inevitable, but if you lose someone who should be your strength, then your loss becomes worse. You become lost. I found myself frankly at loss writing about it but if you can overcome a death of loved one then, heartbreak seems too trivial. You might feel that you are in the worst crisis of your life and you might never feel happiness again, that this pain will never let you live again. But this is what pain does to you, it makes you feel this way so that you could slow down and recollect yourself. Nothing lasts forever, not even the pain of loss.