I’ve never been kissed like the way I kiss,
or been “in a perfect relationship” as shown in romantic movies and novels,
but at the same time—I don’t miss these in my life anymore.
And that’s because when you have been on your own for long time— you discover yourself as another being. When people asks you about why you are the way you are, you tell them that it took you quite long to know and accept what you are and you tell them how you are proud for finally listening to your heart. And that’s because only you know how hard it was; only you know how it is being you.
But I still remember how messy my life was. How I had a tongue to speak, but not enough courage in my voice to be heard by others. Sometimes people will raise their eyebrow to the things I whisper, or look down and act uncomfortable; it used to bother me so much that I’d rather stay silent due to fear of being wrong, even if I knew exactly right thing to say.
But now it’s okay, I’ve have accepted it. I have come to an understanding that it’s their choice to perceive me the way they want. But I’m not going to clip my words or feelings so that they could fit into their mindset anymore. I’d rather save my energy and spend it in doing something worthwhile, than desperately try to convince somebody to believe me.
No, I’ve not become self-obsessed all of a sudden; it has been a long and lonesome journey to find my own voice, and I owe this respect to myself.
So what I’m trying to say is, before you go trying to find somebody who would possibly want to be a part of your life— create your own life first. Learn to enjoy it to its full potential before making a compromise.
Remember nobody will enjoy being with you, if you don’t enjoy being with yourself. Just like you, not all things in this life will be perfect, but they will still be worth loving and living through.