I am in a constant battle with myself, and it’s tearing me a little, one night at a time. Everyone seems to be either trying to please me, or console me, but no one is even thinking to try to understand me.
Every day I try to convince myself that I’m better off alone, and every night I crave to hold somebody close. I have so much of love inside, and I’m tired of locking it all away, just to keep it safe. It spills out every now and then in my words as hate, and I scare a lot of those few who really cares for me. But I’m not a hateful person, I want to love, but nobody seems to know how to love me, not even me.
And people tell me that perhaps, this is all just a phase and someday I’ll look back, and laugh at all such things. But what really scares me is, that perhaps, I might learn to control my feelings of hate, still , perhaps, I’ll never know, if I’m strong enough, to love somebody again, or weak enough, to let somebody else love me. My life is a mess, and neither do I know how I got here, nor do I have any idea how to get out.